Thanksgiving warnings for college football

Pre Thanksgiving warnings to College Football

In less than one week, Americans like myself will be celebrating a time-honored tradition…Thanksgiving. A time where we can all come together, if only with family and friends, and give thanks for the country in which we live.

At this time of year, we should be all full of warmth and kindness to one another… but for many there will be feelings of disappointment and guilt because they will find a loss in their column. I’m talking about several college football teams, and before I sink my teeth into MY Thanksgiving meal, I must gather my strength to warn them.

Shall I warn Ohio State as they face Michigan…nope, pass me the next game please….

Shall I warn NC State in their need to win against UNC just to try to qualify for a bowl? Nope…pass me the next…wait, maybe I need to send a minor warning. We all know that in-state rivals are hard to defeat, and regardless of the records, UNC must be very careful of the Wolfpack. In order for NC State to qualify for a bowl, they MUST win their remaining games…no mistakes! But we also know that apparently the ACC has a new rule where whoever is ranked MUST lose to an unranked opponent (I speak as a fool). So maybe UNC must be warned of the danger…but moreso NC State must be warned that a loss here ends their season, and they will be left alone like thanksgiving leftovers.

Be warned Louisville, for once I had great faith in your powers, but alas you struggle to make the post season like I struggle to put down one spoonful of cranberry sauce…I mean, what IS that stuff anyway, and why must I eat it?

I warn you Louisville, you are razor thin to being left out of this year’s post season, and to make it you must defeat West Virginia. In a conference that has not truly shown the powerhouses of the Big East, this is in fact a game you can win, but many think this may be the year you hit rock bottom. Do not fail you Louisville Cardinals…

And while you’re at it, call your Big East friends at Rutgers and warn them as well. You both have major issues and concerns to make the post season. While it may be true that Rutgers has a strong conference record, the big fact is that they are 5-5 and need a win like I need another scoop of whipped cream on my pumpkin pie. Rutgers has it easier though, playing the likes of Army, so maybe our warnings are not quite needed…

But a double heaping of warnings go out to BOTH Clemson and Virginia. Of the remaining 4 ACC teams trying to make it to post season, you both have the best chance. The problem is this…if Clemson loses, they must find that 6th win vs. South Carolina, while if Virginia loses this game, they must find their 6th vs. Virginia Tech. In both cases you would be underdogs, so this very game you must play against each other could very well be THE game that puts you in…or takes you out. I warn both of you, your very season hangs like Thanksgiving decorations, soon to be taken down to make way for Christmas décor…do not fail us Clemson, or Virginia.

And while we are at it, shame on you Florida, for playing Citadel. You’re like the big man sitting at the kid’s table with your big plate of food, while the kids that sit around you eat much smaller portions. We will not acknowledge your greatness this week….

And what is this I hear from you, Tulsa? Were you not as celebrated as a relative visiting from across the country on a great holiday? Did we not sing praises on your success as one of the last undefeated teams, and one that could give Conference USA a boost? But what is this rumor I heard of you having SEVENTY points scored upon your souls? How the mighty have fallen. But I warn you, this weekend’s game vs. Tulane must prove that you are still amongst the best in your conference. I warn you Tulsa, reclaim your place as the best of Conference USA, or slip further into obscurity.

Must I warn Penn State, as they prepare for the game that will launch them to the Rose Bowl, or knock them out? A favorite team of mine like the delicious gravy that warms the stuffing, I was truly rooting for Penn State to go undefeated, but alas, that will not be. But the Rose Bowl is a most worthy prize should you defeat Michigan State. Yet I am confused as to who I would like to see win, for I also admire Michigan State as well. I even bought a Michigan State hooded sweatshirt to show my support when they played Notre Dame. Both I can pull for, but of the two, Penn State has more to lose, so the warnings I send to them.

And where has all the glory for Wake Forest gone. Like a kitchen after a great feast, there is none left to claim glory. With an offence that was as dry as an ill-prepared turkey, Wake Forest has shown greatness, then lost it as quickly as they received it. You play Boston College in a game that still has great meaning. Yes you are qualified for a bowl, but we were almost ready to place you in a BCS Bowl.

But wait, is there yet hope? You are still within SOME hope of going to the ACC Championship. Do you not have the tie breaker with Florida State? IF Maryland should lose, and if you win, there just might be a chance…but to do so, you MUST win. There is still a chance for you to make the ACC Championship…but only if you win.

And finally, a warning to Texas Tech and Oklahoma, in a game that has major implications to the BCS Championship. We expect as great an abundance of points as the Thanksgiving spread we shall also enjoy. But for one of you, the dream of the BCS will end, like the finger lickings of the last serving of the meal. Oklahoma needs this win to stay in the hunt, and POSSIBLY jump into the top 2, Texas Tech needs the win to clinch the shot in the Big 12 Championships, possibly against Missouri. For one of you, the chance to play in the National Championship will live on for another week, for the other, hopes dashed for such a prize. I warn both of you, give us all the treat of a great game, so that we may sing the praises of your game for weeks to come…or else fall to the wayside and let the true BCS champs emerge.

We shall see what shall happen this week and the weeks to come, in the mean time, I hope you all enjoy your holiday and that your favorite teams win. Oh, and let me be the first to say, Season’s Greetings.