Halloween, Horror and College Football

The HORROR of College Football

Halloween is upon us, and with it comes the fear that over 100 teams fear to embrace…that there are guarantees in life…one is the demise of a season.

And all teams choose to play a game…much like Jigsaw imposes on his victims…knowing that few, if any are designed to succeed.

And so most fail.

Halloween brings the horror already realized, and the horrors of those realized on All Saints Day, and yet it also delays the feared ending of some, where their seasons come to a quick and correct ending…with no sequel in sight.

This season was nothing but a ruse to many teams, knowing that there are many teams designed to fail…to be fodder, for the greater cause. But let us take a moment to look at this horror movie and sort out the victims….for we know there will be many.

If there is a real Camp Crystal Lake, it will indeed resemble the ACC. As many contenders as sequels, and a body count to match. The ACC continues to slay one another as mindlessly as the next batch of campers find their way to the lake, only to discover too late that their fate was already charted. The ACC had a chance to produce a “Jason” with Virginia Tech, but failed miserably…but word has it that Georgia Tech stands hidden in the forest, with a certain hockey mask.

Can we believe that THIS is the Jason the ACC needs to put fear in the BCS? We have seen this before, and lately the ACC has not put terror in any other conference. And victims this year seemed to have claimed Florida State, Clemson and Wake Forest, while Duke, NC State and Maryland lie at the bottom of the murky swamp.

Shall we fear Jason Yellow Jacket…or shall we look for another?

Haddonfield, seems to be a town hiding a terrible secret…much like that of the Big 10. On that fateful day, when Michael Myers began his terror, few knew, nor read the signs of what would happen, save only Dr. Loomis. Is this any different this year, with Iowa standing at the door of the BCS Championship? The mission for Myers was simple, to find and eradicate his family…which led to a long chase to find his sister… and dispose of her.

How similar can this be of Iowa and the last several games against Penn State, where there has been a grand and epic struggle, only to end in sad endings? But again, Iowa has hunted their quarry and defeated Penn State, but Ohio State may be the only thing keeping them from a BCS Championship. But Ohio State is flawed, much like the aged Dr. Loomis, who did all he could to thwart the actions of Myers. Can Ohio State prevent Iowa from their goal, or will Iowa take for granted the other “lesser” teams, and lose a chance at a most valued prize. Only Illinois has fallen under, as many other teams in the Big 10 can make a challenge. There are more sequels to come.

Beware if there is a moon out on Halloween night, for you never know who will change to a beastly werewolf…such is my warning to the Big 12. Was it not last year where at least 7 quarterbacks proved that they were NFL ready? Was there not six teams that were ranked in the top 25 through much of the year? But this year, not much noise has been made of the conference outside of Texas…and they look exposed.

Has the conference found silver bullets to destroy the Texas Werewolf? You DO know that silver can destroy a werewolf…just as one loss could be a deadly force against Texas’ bid to the BCS. But we have been fooled several times by their changes…who informed us that Colorado would be any better than last year…we were fools to buy that.

And who said that Nebraska was the fear of the town…nay, I saw no claws, fangs or body hair resembling a werewolf on these Huskers…I only saw mere men fall by the wayside. We have however, seen a great man fall in Oklahoma, and with it also went the dreams of the season. It would seem that only Oklahoma State remain to challenge Texas, and by doing such we shall see by the light of the full moon who is REALLY a werewolf… and who is not.

The house of Count Dracula may seem large, but only eight rooms are being used, and one may well be Count Dracula himself. From the grave the Big East was counted as nothing, as a slain evil, never to return. In fact, the beginning of the season there were no Big East teams ranked. Yet from the grave has risen one who bears the marks of Vlad Dracul…and yet there seems to be another.

Cincinnati at this moment is undefeated, and should they run the table, may say they should be in the BCS… but has there been enough “blood” sacrificed to validate this? Who has this team beaten that qualifies this as THE Count…rather than some other vampire who serves another?

Some say Pittsburgh holds the strings, and controls the scene from afar in the conference, and it is only a matter of time before the two meet…to settle once and for all who is the REAL Dracula. Yet consider this…is there a Val Helsing in the mists…. A West Virginia…or maybe a South Florida? Alas, it may well not be West Virginia, as news travels that they were recently slain by South Florida. It would then seem that either Cincinnati OR Pittsburgh is then the true Dracula…but are either strong enough to force themselves into the BCS?

A classic John Carpenter movie, “The Fog”, was about a curse that was laid upon a hapless town on the 100th anniversary of the founding of their town….some might say there is such a “fog” or even “curse” upon the SEC in the recent rumors of less than professional officiating.

More than once has such wickedness cost a team a win, one that Georgia can clearly testify to. In the movie, the curse came because the town lied to a ship of lepers that wanted to make a home near their town, in exchange for much gold. The townsfolk swore on the deal…took the gold…but destroyed the lepers…thus the curse 100 years later.

Victims of greed we all can be of times, but at the expense of other teams in the SEC? Some say a curse will fall upon the SEC, as some say that the poor officiating was used in conspiracy to promote Florida and Alabama, to ensure a SEC remain in the BCS hunt. Others say there is a curse on the SEC for their apparent lack of hiring African American coaches…only ONE in their history…and yet they benefit so greatly from African American players….

What is in the fog of the SEC…most see Florida, maybe Alabama. I have heard some say it was Ole Miss, but I see no truth in that. There were rumors that Tennessee had risen from the depths of the sunken ship and reclaimed what was rightly theirs…we ALMOST saw that at the hands of Alabama, but the Crimson Tide bare escaped with their lives. It leads me to believe they won’t live much longer at that rate. But one could say the same for Florida as well….

There may well be an Elm Street in every state, but the Pac-10 stares at fear tangible in that they now must pray for access to the BCS Championship. With several teams out of BCS Conferences that are perfect, the PAC-10 has no hope of jumping over the likes of a perfect Florida, or Alabama or Texas. And with the East Coast Bias, most people never see these Pac-10 teams unless they play earlier in the day. Out of sight, out of mind…unless you are Freddy Krueger.

In the famed series of movies, the creature of the night would appear in a victim’s nightmare and claim them for his own…the Pac-10 would have to perform similar feats to put fear in the BCS, and force the nation to pay attention to them.

For on Halloween there will be a Nightmare on Elm Street when USC plays against Oregon, and everything is on the line. Both teams have one loss, and neither can afford another. Yet a game of this importance would certainly propel the winner into a greater chance of a BCS shot, right? It is critical that a Duck or Trojan becomes the nightmare of the BCS, and may have to make horrid work of their opponent to put fear in the voters of the polls. Trust me, you don’t want to sleep when this game comes on… especially those on the east coast.

We have discovered that Sleepy Hollow is more than a legend, it is a real place… the name has changed to the Mountain West Conference, and there have been rumors of not one…not two…but possibly THREE Headless horsemen roaming about.

I once heard there may have even been a fourth from the Air Force, but I am being told that this is not so true. It has been more confirmed that those Headless Horsemen come from TCU, Utah and BYU…U know what I mean by that…

These teams seek that which they have lost…respect. For their competitive conference, few give them a chance to actually be in the BCS, even if one goes undefeated. At this moment it remains to be only TCU, as both BYU and Utah have lost their heads earlier in the year. But because it was early, there is a chance…however slight, to get it back.

Will anyone take notice of the Mountain West Horseman as he rides through the night, looking for another victim? How many more will they have to defeat before the BCS acknowledges them as a real threat to the BCS?

And what is this I hear of this Hunchback that clamors about being better than anybody else? Who told this creature that they were the equal of the other teams simply because they have a nice record? Their best win so far this year was at home to Boston College, having lost games to USC and Michigan. Do not try to scare me with such stories from Notre Dame….win games against TOUGH opponents before you try to scare us.

And I have seen the parts being built for this Frankenstein they call Boise State. A powerful creature, with indeed a history of doing damage…but many say the parts are made of cheap material. A weak schedule with only ONE good win makes this a creature with great potential, but very flawed. We can see Boise State as much a contender to the BCS now as we can consider Frankenstein as equal to a human. Until Boise State schedules more quality opponents, we will continue to shun Boise State as the village shunned Frankenstein…which lead to his demise at the end.

I warn you, Halloween will bring many sad tidings for many. For some, the realization that there is no post season, for some, the realization that there is no conference championship, and for others, no BCS Bowl game. Hearts will be broken, spirits will be split…dreams will be shattered in the faces of tens of thousands.

There will be…losers….

(what did you think I was gonna say…it’s all in fun!)

Happy Halloween all, may your favorite team win!