Halloween warnings to college football

College Football warnings on Halloween

Already I am late in my weekly warnings and I hope it is not too late to bring tidings of fear and caution to those teams of the Division I, and the warnings I hope to share. For it would seem that South Florida never got the warnings before they lost their game to Cincinnati in their own home…it proves that you are not even safe in your own home stadium.

Who then shall also be warned? I hope for the sake of the post season that people will hear my voice, even on this Halloween:

Be warned, both Northwestern AND Minnesota, that your battle against one another could doom the loser as a vampire to sunlight. Yes you both now qualify for the post season, but we all wonder the path taken to get those “easy” wins. Are you as good as the records say, or have you been hiding the truth from us? I warn you, the truth shall be revealed in the sunlight as one of you must fall.

Be ye warned, both Wisconsin and Michigan State; for I have seen teams break down like a wore-out Frankenstein standing in the middle of an earthquake. Can we not say that of you Wisconsin, when we thought you would certainly factor in for a Rose Bowl, or perhaps the BCS Championship? Now you struggle to just make it to a bowl, and the odds may be against you. Can you still win 6 games to qualify? And what of the Spartans? History says you are due to go on a losing streak, even though you are qualified for post season. But with a big game vs. Penn State at the end of your season, have you overlooked the teams at hand? We shall see…

I give you fair warnings West Virginia, to beware of the team that changes more than a family of werewolves. You travel deep into the dangerous woods, where Connecticut has fooled many people. This team started out undefeated although many wondered who they really were. But then this team was exposed, losing 2 games in a row, and we all thought we had seen the real Connecticut. But they are back in the top 25, and they need YOU to validate their greatness. But who exactly are YOU? Did we no see you lose 2 of the first 3 games, and wondered if the better days have passed you by? A win over a ranked team makes a strong point to a team trying to claw back in the Big East race….who then is REALLY the werewolf?

A caution to you Miami, as you travel to the depths of the Cavaliers of the lagoon. How else can we compare a team that was doomed after only 4 games, losing heavily to USC and even…to Duke? What manner of creature would dare to come from the depths of failure to fight for a season already lost? But this “creature” is now a powerful force, and seems unstoppable. Beating Maryland, then dashing the hopes of ECU, then conquering then ranked teams UNC and Georgia Tech. And you are in desperate need of wins…lest you not make post season. Can you survive this test?

Be fearful Arkansas, for an unstoppable blob comes your way in the form of undefeated Tulsa. This team treads in YOUR home, in your stadium, to make you an example and to impress any voters that are looking for another BCS Buster. You have had perhaps the toughest schedule in the country, but none shall pity you should you lose to this team. In fact, should you lose, the hopes of post season may be in jeopardy with only 3 other games left…your post season life is on the line. But WHO is this Tulsa team, who has defeated no one of consequence this year? Shall a Razorback fear such a team when you have faced the likes of Texas, Florida and Alabama? Will you fear the unknown of a Tulsa Golden Hurricane?

And who shall tell the state of Texas of the witching hour, and the fate of the BCS Championship? For we know that either Texas or Texas Tech will fall. We have seen the power of Texas, knocking off 3 straight ranked teams, but did you not barely escape the last game against Oklahoma State? Are we seeing…fatigue? And what of you, Texas Tech? What witches brew will you create to convince us that you are really as great as your record? Where then are your top 25 victories, for we see only one, the win over #23 Kansas. We shall see if you will ride high like a witch on a full moon, or melt like a familiar witch when dashed with a bucket of water.

Take great measure of caution Nebraska, you are being stalked. You need not travel to Crystal Lake or Elm Street to know that your adversary seeks your defeat. For Oklahoma has red in their eyes, and are still steaming from their loss to Texas earlier this year. Should any of the top undefeated teams slip and lose, Oklahoma will be in a very opportunistic position to possibly play for the National Championship. And to do that, all their foes must fall….including you. But you also play for post season life, do you not? You must have one more victory to qualify for a bowl, and you have 4 chances to get it. No one gives you this game against Oklahoma, and you may have a problem with Kansas. With Kansas State and Colorado left, your life lines are running short. Many already question your strength of schedule, claiming your wins come from weak teams, but can you quiet the criticisms and get those 6 wins for post season play? We shall see.

So my warnings have been given…so many more I wanted to give…but….

Well, it’s Halloween, and I got candy to give out! Happy Halloween guys, have fun this weekend!